The ABCs of Allyship
A practical framework for showing up — every day, in every space
One of the things I hear most often from people who want to be better allies is this: "I just don't know what to do."
They care. They mean well. But they're stuck — either paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong, or unsure where to begin.
That's exactly why I developed the ABCs of Allyship. It's not a checklist or a certification. It's a framework — a way of orienting yourself to the practice so you always have somewhere to start.
Where the ABCs Came From
The ABCs didn't come first. They came after.
When Daniel and I co-developed the LGBTQ+ Ally Program at a Fortune 50 company, we built it around a model of Allyship as a journey. Think of it like tiers on a credit card - Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum. Each level represented a deeper commitment and a more developed set of skills, and participants could move through them over time. That model worked. It gave people a sense of progression, a place to start without judgment, and something meaningful to aspire to.
After that program rolled out, after the recognition, after years of watching people move through those levels - I kept reflecting. I kept asking a simpler question: what core behaviors define an ally? Not at one level or another, but at any level, in any context, on any given day?
That's the question that led me to develop the ABCs of Allyship. It's the distillation of everything I learned from building and leading that corporate program, boiled down into a framework simple enough to carry into any room, any conversation, any moment.
The ABCs of Allyship is now the backbone of everything I teach and the starting point of the Ally Ambassador Program.
The ABCs of Allyship
A — Advocate
The first step is moving from passive support to active voice. An Advocate doesn't just believe in equity - they speak up for it, even when it's uncomfortable, even when the person being impacted isn't in the room.
Advocacy looks like:
Amplifying a colleague's idea that got talked over in a meeting
Nominating someone from a marginalized community for a stretch assignment or speaking opportunity
Calling out a microaggression in the moment, calmly and directly
Educating yourself so your voice is informed, not just well-meaning
📌 Advocacy is not about speaking for someone. It's about using your voice to make space for their voices.
The goal is never to become the hero of someone else's story - it's to help remove the obstacles in their way.
B — Backer
A Backer goes a step further. Where an Advocate speaks up in the moment, a Backer commits — consistently, structurally, over time. A Backer uses their access, their relationships, and their influence to open doors.
Being a Backer means:
Using your network and your position to create access for others
Showing up for the community even when it's not Pride Month - on quiet Tuesdays when no one's watching
Putting your credibility behind someone else's advancement
Supporting inclusive policies, practices, and culture not just in public, but in private decisions
Backers are rare. Most people are willing to advocate when it feels good. Fewer are willing to back someone when it costs something — a relationship, a comfort, a risk. That's exactly why it matters.
C — Champion
A Champion is the highest expression of allyship. A Champion doesn't just advocate and back - they lead. They make allyship part of their identity, their culture, and their legacy.
Championing looks like:
Building systems and environments where equity is the norm, not the exception
Mentoring and developing others in their allyship journey
Taking ownership of inclusion as a leader, not delegating it, not performing it, living it
Being the person LGBTQIA+ colleagues, friends, and family members know they can count on, not just in crisis, but always
A Champion is what the Ally Ambassador Program is ultimately designed to develop. Not just someone who knows the right things to say, but someone who has made allyship a practice, a commitment, and a calling.
The ABCs Are a Journey, Not a Checklist
What I love about this framework is that it gives you somewhere to stand right now - and somewhere to grow into. You might be an Advocate today. A Backer next year. A Champion in five years. That's not failure - that's the path.
Advocate. Backer. Champion.
These three levels are the lens through which every lesson, tool, and practice I teach is filtered, and they are the foundation of the Ally Ambassador Program.
✦ Where Are You Right Now?
Take a moment to ask yourself honestly:
→ Am I consistently Advocating - using my voice when it matters?
→ Am I Backing - using my access and influence to open doors?
→ Am I Championing - leading with allyship as part of who I am?
There's no wrong answer. There's just the next step.
→ In the next post, I'll talk about how my allyship expanded beyond the LGBTQIA+ community, and why I believe the principles of allyship are universal.
→ And if you're ready to go deeper, the Ally Ambassador Program enables organizations to develop a culture of Allyship and continue to support that culture internally. [Let’s talk.]